In This Issue:
In This Issue:I go to a lot of live theatre. Actors love to have a full house — even if some seats are discounted — because the energy of everyone participating makes the entire production better. I saw this effect recently from the TAS Board in relation to the end of year Tzedakah campaign: it was stressed how important it was for everyone on the Board to particpate, at whatever level they could afford, because of the message it sent. This notion stuck with me, and builds upon the theme of our recent MoTAS Shabbat: The men of TAS being role models.
When you participate in an event as a man of TAS, you send a message through your participation. You demonstrate how the Men of TAS are there for the congregation in all its activities and endeavors. Time and financial constraints may limit our abilities to participate as fully as we might like, but doing whatever we can, whenever we can, says a lot to our leadership. This is true for congregational activities, and it is equally true for MoTAS activities.
When you receive a mailing, email, or call asking you to participate, think about what your participation — or non-participation — says. More importantly, think about what your participation does: it allows you create relationships with other participants, and strengthen your bond to the congregation. Ultimately, it is that bond that keeps MoTAS and TAS strong: people caring about other people, and being there — participating — for them.
As part of our MoTAS Shabbat, we invited a number of men to share a reflection of what their relationship with MoTAS means to them. This is the reflection that Brian Hatkoff shared:
When Men get together, they have a great time talking about sports, politics, business, their kids and things like that. When men get together, they DO NOT talk about what’s going on in their lives, what’s going on behind the scenes, their emotions, their relationships with their wives, their kids, their parents and so on.
I started a program a few years ago at TAS ( a program I stole from somewhere else) called the Men’s Only discussion group, which is now called the Men’s Hangout. It was designed to be in a setting of support for each other during good times and bad. A chance to expose their feelings (if they wanted to) and ask for advice or just vent. I had no idea where it would go. It was set in a safe environment and where any discussion that occurred stayed in those four walls.
I really didn’t expect much, except talking about sports, politics, business, their kids… Not much happened, except for the openness of the conversation of our personal feelings and what was truly going on in our lives.
Although I moderated it for the first few years, I got so much out of it that I ended up with a whole new respect for the men around me. I came to appreciate that what I may have been going through at the time, and thought I was alone, and the only one in that situation, that other men had been there and gave me the support I needed at the time.
The ability of men to be open and honest with other is far and few between, and that needs to change. This is a small but very important piece of what MoTAS does. Our MoTAS is doing that and will continue to do that.
As part of our MoTAS Shabbat, we invited a number of men to share a reflection of what their relationship with MoTAS means to them. This is the reflection that Howard Miller shared:
When my wife Laraine and I joined TAS 21 years ago, I was looking for three aspects of Jewish life: Worship, Service to my Jewish community, and a sense of belonging and comradery. Worship was straightforward, our Temple prayers and melodies were identical to those I had been brought up with in a Conservative temple. I found the opportunity to provide service and enjoy the comradery of friendship in the TAS Men’s Club.
It started a couple of weeks after we joined. The Men’s Club was building the sukkah. Coming from Seal Beach, I got there late. I walked in and was handed a palm frond. It was pretty dark, so I worked as a team with a stranger by flashlight. We had so much fun working and talking for an hour. When we turned around and introduced ourselves, it turned out that he was one of my best friends from childhood; we had not seen each other in 20 years. At that time, Bob Levin and Gordon Lester had basically restarted the Men’s Club. It was simply a group of guys who wanted to support the needs of the temple. There may have been 12 guys in the group at that point. Within a few years our roster grew to 70 or so members.
I like to tell people that our lives are often a swirl of all the things we are involved in over time. At different points in our lives, each of us can look back and think about the groups of people that we have spent our time with, who we have watched become the people they are in part because of our time and chemistry within the group. A group like the Men’s Club provides the immediate friendships and comradery in service to the temple, doing more together than we can do individually. Together, we have painted the whole school, we have raised $15-20K per year in support of temple unmet needs, and we have served hundreds of burgers and hot dogs a year fighting hunger in the congregation. There is a sense of accomplishment on a monthly and annual basis.
The Men’s Club is for those men in the congregation who know that there is more to setting a religious example for their children by simply providing a ride to Hebrew school. Of significance, you will find that probably three quarters of the men who have been on the temple board and its officers have been members of the Men’s Club. The Men’s Club is where you will find nice guys from all walks of life that you can be proud to share your time with. This group of men has been worthy of my time, respect and appreciation for 21 years. I hope many other members of the congregation will participate in MoTAS and gain the same perspective.
In addition to being our Man of the Year, Bob also presented the introduction to the Kaddish, the memorial prayer. This is the introduction that Bob shared:
Two days ago, on January 21, I observed the yahrzeit of my grandmother. I have only dim real memories of her, yet 60 years later, her love shines within me. My father’s three-year yahrzeit is in a few weeks. Obviously, the memories are larger, and while the grief is gone, the yahrzeit is a special time which allows me to mourn yet once again, and reflect upon his passing.
What I sense is more than remembering who they were or what they did, but more so what they meant to me, and yet more still by how my life has been, and continues to be, reshaped by their presence in my own life. I ask myself sometimes which of the choices I have made have been influenced by them, and have I lived up to my best self as a result? They, among others, have served as my role models, from whom I learned valuable lessons about seeing the world and acting in it. Reb Zalman Shachter-Shalomi, of blessed memory, taught me that what seem to be extremely complex ideas can be expressed very simply. Other teachers, relatives, friends, and even people I’ve met only briefly, have shown me a piece of themselves, which is now a part of me: their joy, their compassion, their humor, their handling the rough edges.
Celebrating a life. Observing a yahrzeit. A time of mourning. Seems contradictory, yet not. The mourner’s Kaddish is a joyful, positive, prayer, whose driving energy demands a full celebration: of the lives of those loved, those whose shoulders I stand upon today, in all generations, reaching toward the heavens. When I remember others who have none left to mourn for them, I stand also on their shoulders, in my universal participation of human spirit. So, when I read the prayer in English, it helps mitigate the tears.
As part of our MoTAS Shabbat, MoTAS announced this year’s Man of the Year. During the service, our honoree was introduced by the 2014 Men of the Year, Steve Zonis (Z) and Scott Yollis (Y). Here is their introduction:
Y: We understand that while serving in the United States Navy, he was a Jewish lay leader; organizing and leading Yom Kippur services in Greece and also a Passover Seder in the Panama Canal Zone.
Z: Since coming to TAS in 2006 he has:
Y: Served on the TAS Board of Trustees.
Z: Served on the Marketing and Membership Committees.
Y: Served as President, Vice President, Treasure, and Program Chairman of the Men of TAS.
Continue reading
[The following was presented as the D’Var Torah and the Introduction to Man of the Year Introduction at the recent MoTAS Shabbat]
Being a Role Model – MoTAS Shabbat 1/23
Parasha Bo – D’var Torah
In the musical The Rothschilds, Meyer Rothschild sings of the value of sons. Sons are a way to continue the line; sons provide the opportunity to teach a lesson. During Passover, we read of four sons: the wise, the wicked, the simple, and the one unable to speak. This week’s Torah portion introduces us to the two of those sons: the wicked and the one unable to speak. The portion tells the story of the last Passover plague, the start of the Passover, and provides us with the commandments for us to observe Pesach and to abstain from eating leavened bread. It reminds us through the Pidyom Ha-Ben ceremony of how our sons were saved for a reason. Lastly, it contains the first occurrence of the commandments regarding teffilin, which in traditional Judaism are reminders we put in front of us to lead us on the proper path.
Leadership is a key notion in this portion; one that is relevant to this Men of TAS Shabbat. Specifically, the portion addresses the role of a leader – in the context of the Torah a father figure – to pass on the tradition and guide the family down the path that Judaism provides.
Men of Temple Ahavat Shalom 