At a recent MoTAS event, a participant indicated to me that we’ll always be the Men’s Club to him. It’s a name that even I slip back to when describing our organization to others: We’re the Men’s Club at TAS. I joke that we balance out Temple Beth Hillel: They have a Brotherhood and the Women of TBH, and we have the Men of TAS and a Sisterhood. But there’s a reason why we’re the Men of TAS, so let’s explore what the potential names convey:

• Brotherhood. This is the traditional name for men’s organizations in congregations. In many ways, it is a great name, for it builds on the notion that all men are brothers. Recall the song in “How to Succeed…Business“: There is a brotherhood of man. But the name is a little old-fashioned and traditional. It is also just a little exclusionary, for the tradition has always been that you JOINED the Brotherhood and paid dues.
• Men’s Club. This is the other common name for men’s organizations. It goes back to the 1960s, when there were Couples Clubs, Womens Clubs, and Mens Clubs everywhere. There is one major problem. Any notion of a club means that there are members, and some are in and some are out. That is clearly exclusionary, and conveys the message of “no pay, no play”. Although dues are nice (and sometimes necessary), the intent of Reform Judaism is to be a welcoming tent, and membership organizations work against that.
• Men of …. At the National level, both the National Sisterhood organization and the National Brotherhood organizations have renamed themselves to Women of/Men of Reform Judaism. This is because they want to show they want all of their constituencies to participate. MRJ has gone so far to eliminate dues; participating groups simply contribute what they feel is appropriate for support. MoTAS was the exemplar here: we consider all the men in congregation as members, and although we encourage all of the men of the congregation to support MoTAS, we do not require dues. We want participation–be it financially, through active participation, or both.

When all is said and done, we don’t care what you call us (as long as you don’t call us late to dinner): MoTAS, the Men’s Club, or even the Brotherhood. We’re a group of men who, through active participation and financial support, want to do good for Temple Ahavat Shalom and the Jewish community. I encourage you to become active (I was about to say “join us”) and help in this endeavor. No membership form or dues required. All you need do is come to an event and participate.

“I’d like to welcome you to Temple Ahavat Shalom and the Men of TAS”

I was about to correct that statement to say “I welcome you…“, when I realized it is correct as it stands. For us to welcome you to MoTAS and TAS, it requires one little thing on your part: A willingness to be welcomed.

Often when we come to synagogue or are encouraged to participate in an organization or activities, a whole batch of “negatives” get in the way that prevent us from enjoying the experience. Someone was indifferent to us in the past. Someone insulted us. Something doesn’t work the way we like. We sit, stew, and get turned off.

I’d like to suggest a different tack. Let us welcome you. Let us work with you to fix what is broken. We cannot fix a problem if we don’t know about it, and part of welcoming is fixing what makes us unwelcoming. Getting involved with a smaller group such as MoTAS is much less daunting than the larger groups.

So as I said at the beginning: “I would like to welcome you to Temple Ahavat Shalom and the Men of TAS”. Let me do that welcoming. Give us that chance, and if something isn’t working, let us know. We’re here to hear you (and you can start, if you want, by commenting on this post).